The Match Against Leon
by ACID35
Summary: How amazing is the ever famous Leon? Well, I sought to find out in my youth, when I challenged him to the most diabolical game ever created... Dodge ball. Come, see my story, and weep with amazement.
1. Chapter 1

- Yet another tale my lovely kittens, and by kittens, I mean readers. So do enjoy. Sincerely - Acid35 -

In my third year of high school, I found my ego growing ever larger with each passing day—namely in the way of sports. Though I was never a truly excellent athlete, I found ways around my physical ineptness which barred me from jockey stardom. Namely that involved me cheating at any sport I did. The sad thing was everyone knew I was cheating, but allowed me to continue doing so out of pity. So in the end, my ego was nothing more than self denial. It would seem however, that fate wasn't satisfied with that. No, it sought to destroy me completely, leaving me no hope in my ability to play any sport whatsoever.

And fate sought to do this through a man named Leon S. Kennedy. Oh how I rue the day we met, he came to me upon an abrupt entrance into our school actually. While my fellow companions and I ate in our school's very small lunch room he burst violently through a window. It made everyone scream in shock, including myself. Glass flung like shrapnel at several different students as two zombie like creatures followed him inside. Leon, which at that time everyone referred to as "That really hot, attractive, super sexy guy with the gun," (I will admit, he was fairly attractive, but I couldn't help but feel the girls who gawked at him were over exaggerating slightly) stood up quickly and pulled out his antique Red9 pistol, unloading several shots into his adversaries. They dropped like flies, and soon began to bubble and turn into nothingness.

My school body stared in disbelief, Leon cracked his neck and ran over to some glowing objects which now replaced the two dead zombies. He reloaded his weapon, turned to us and said with a smile, "Well… I hope I didn't spoil your appetites kids."

His voice was dashing, debonair even, and as soon as he spoke the female portion of our school immediately crowded around him. I stared dumbfounded, as did the rest of my male counterparts, as Leon laughed triumphantly.

"Do you think he jumped through the window on purpose?" One of my friends asked, "To… you know… get the ladies?"

I scoffed, "He's an idiot if he did." I replied. But in reality I didn't think he was an idiot, none of us did, we thought he was the best thing to hit the planet. What with his well fixed haircut, skin tight shirt that revealed his defined muscles, and the pistol… all us boys thought he was the most amazing specimen of man in the world.

Since my brain wasn't fully developed at the time, as scientific studies show in young adults, I deduced through a twisted form of logic that at that absolute moment I had to show my superiority over Leon in the way of sports.

As he laughed with the giggling girls, saying stupid things like, "Hey, if I had known you guys would be waiting to congratulate me, I would have dressed up for the occasion." I walked confidently, violently, up to him.

I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him my way while saying, "Hey, buddy I've got a bone to pick with you!" but before I could finish, Leon quickly spun around and sent his leg flying, sending me sailing with a blistering high kick to my face. I let out a groan of anguish as my body cracked and twisted, soon I couldn't feel the ground below my feet and when I feel back to the earth I was barely coherent.

Leon pulled out his Red9 quickly, ready to destroy whatever enemy had grabbed him. But upon seeing that was just a young lad (me) and not a zombie, he holstered his weapon quickly, "Dang kid, I could have killed you. Guess there's a good reason why they say, 'ask first, shoot later.'" He let out another laugh and slowly walked over to me. While he did his new female fan base roared with excitement and praise.

"Oh my gosh he's so sexy!" A girl screamed

"Super sexy!" Another yelled.

"More sexy than sex!" One added.

"That was such a sexy kick Leon! You could destroy the world with amount of sexy you have!" another girl screamed at the top of her lungs, shattering any glass windows within a five mile radius.

I mumbled in my delirium, "So… sexy…"

Leon stood over me and pulled something out of his pocket, "Here, take this." He told me.

I shook my head, I didn't want to take anything from this buffoon, "No…"

"It's a green herb, it'll help." He pressed the plant against my lips, a immediately began to throw a tantrum, flailing my arms like an eight your old, "Geese kid just eat it! Do you want to get healed or not?"

"Ehh…" I tried to push Leon's face away with the my trembling hands, but before I could he shoved the bitter herb into my mouth. Just like he said, I felt completely awake and vigorous in a matter of seconds.

Leon smiled brightly and stood up, his girl mob surrounded him again, "You saved him Leon! The man who just tried to kill you, you're so compassionate!" They all said in unison.

"Ladies look, I'm just doing my job." As Leon spoke he looked off into the distance, making sure that the camera got just the right angle on his face, "Just… doing my job."

Then he looked at me, our eyes met. No doubt he saw the fury which roused within me. In that moment I knew there wasn't any time for reasoning. I stood up quickly and cracked my neck, then rushed towards him.

"You!" not wanting to get kicked again, I pointed at Leon with extreme vigor rather than grabbing a hold of him. "You think you're all high and mighty don't you? Busting through that window and all!"

"I don't." Leon answered plainly.

"But who's going to pay for that window huh?" I continued, "What about the children Mr. Awesome? What about them?"

"Look kid, I only have so much patience for idiots, and right now my patience is wearing thin." I saw Leon slowly reach for the combat knife on his web gear, and I knew that it would've been my best interest to shut my mouth and move on. But of course, I continued to talk.

"Yeah? Well I think I can play dodge ball better than you! What do you think of that home boy?" When I uttered those words, the whole room let out a gasp. Leon's eyes widened, he stepped back in shock. I knew I had crossed I line, oh, I knew. But there was no turning back now. Leon's eyes flared, he looked at his crowd of new fans, then at me.

With a smirk he said, "Alright kid, let's see what your made of."


	2. Chapter 2

Our time was then, it wasn't now, it was then. Leon and I faced off in my school's ever decaying gym. Our eyes met, and our bodies clenched with anticipation as we were both about to face off in the most fierce game ever created by man—Dodge ball. All of our school body had followed us to the gym, and to the red rubber balls which we would hurtle at each other.

I stepped forward, into that lovely painted circle which you see on most gym floors, Leon did the same. "Let me make the rules straight!" I shouted far too loud.

"I'm standing right in front of you." Leon retorted, "Your yelling far too loud."

I let out a scoff and turned to my fan base, it consisted of one boy who happened to be a close friend of mine. Despite there being only one person cheering in my favor, I couldn't help but feel motivation come over me. I had to win, it was absolutely necessary. That feeling soon drained from me when I heard the cheering for Leon.

"You can do it Leon! We believe in you!" One of his many adoring girl fans screamed.

"Yes Leon! Kill him! Kill him like you killed my heart!" Another roared, soon the cheers flew out like bullets, becoming all the more violent at every turn.

"Kick him in the face Leon! Make his head explode with your face kick!"

"Shoot him with a shotgun Leon!"

"Shoot him then marry me!"

"No, shoot him then marry me!"

"Marry all of us Leon! Marry us all and then divorce us so we can all take half of your awesome with us wherever we go!"

Now that Leon's fan base had successfully developed a mature mob mentality, I gulped, and looked to Leon with fearful eyes. They didn't want a sport, they wanted my blood. He smirked, "Don't let the crowd get to you." He said sarcastically, "Let's hurry this up, what are the rules kid?"

"You can't kill me." I spurted quickly, "Like ever in this match."

Leon crossed his arms and nodded slowly, "Fine… but then you can't kill me? Deal?"

I stared for a moment, actually wondering if Leon thought me capable of killing him. "Yeah… deal."

"What else?"

"Just us two in the ring, first to get hit three times with a rubber ball is disqualified." I pointed to a long line which divided the gym court in two, "You can't pass this line, ever. Uh… yeah, that's it."

Leon cracked his neck and nodded, "Alright, I can handle that much hotshot."

Wanting to sound as cool as Leon did, I retorted, "Yeah, I bet you can handle that… hotshot."

We stared at each other in silence, our rivalry just birthing itself. Then, slowly, we both took our steps back to the opposite sides of the gym. The time had come upon us, our moment was true and just. Together he and I would settle who was the greatest at sports. One of his fan girls came to the center of the gym and raised her arms.

"You two ready?" She looked at Leon, "Ready to kill him Leon?"

Leon nodded, "Ready."

The girl looked to me, "Ready to die?" She asked with contempt.

"He can't kill me! It's a rule!" I squealed.

"Go!"

Without hesitation Leon lunged forward at the dodge balls. I however, hesitated greatly, and by the time I started to think about moving Leon had already pushed all the balls to his side of the court.

"Looks like you need to work on that speed of yours kid." He said in his usual attractive voice, "I'd start panicking if I were you."

Now, up to this point, Leon had yet to see me make a move. That gave me some comfort, because I knew that once I started to engage him he would be dumbfounded. That's when I started up my true fire weapon, the weave. At the time, I believed it to be the best move any dodge ball player could use. It involved a lot of head ducking, and moving your feet back and forth. Granted, it does make one look odd, but it boosts your natural evasiveness by about three levels.

Once Leon saw the weave, he stopped in his tracks, and just stared – dumbfounded. I smirked, "What do you think of this huh? Huh?" I have to admit it felt good seeing him so confused. Little did I know he wasn't intimidated in the least, he just thought me an idiot.

"You're an idiot!" One of his fan girls shouted at me.

Being insulted by the girls comment, I naturally replied, "You're an idiot!"

As the girl and I continued to argue with childish remarks, Leon sighed and quickly pulled out his Red9. He aimed the gun's barrel at my leg, and shot it casually. The bullet zipped right through my flesh, and caused my leg to give out under my weight. I dropped to the floor in silence, shock overtaking my body.

I looked down at my leg, and when I realized that I indeed had just been shot, I looked at Leon, "You shot me!" I screamed.

Leon picked up one of the dodge balls, and gently lobbed it at my head, "That's one point for me." He said casually.

His fan base (The entire school, plus a few outsiders) screamed with delight. "You can't do that!" I shouted, "I'm bleeding man!" I double checked my thigh, when a blood spurt into my face, I confirmed that I was bleeding.

"No, you said I couldn't kill you." Leon answered. He picked up another ball, and gently tossed it at me. It hit my forehead, I let out a strange cry when it did. "That's two points for me."

"Gahh! Just stop it! My leg his been hit man! It hurts really bad!" I looked over to the single man who cheered for me, and called to him, "Bro, help me! I'm bleeding really bad bro! The blood, it's coming out of me!"

Our eyes met, even before he answered I knew I had already lost him. "I'm… I'm sorry… I… just can't." He slowly slunk away into the midst of cheering girls, "I… love Leon."

My eyes began to water, "Bro… no, not you to." Before I had a chance to raise my defenses, Leon lobbed another ball at me, ending the match.

"That's three outs. I've won." Leon stated calmly. He raised his hands and smiled, "Looks like you need to do some training kid. Either that, or you just need to give up." Then he laughed, oh, did he laugh. The crowd joined him in his laughter, and soon they began to exit the building.

As they did a screamed out with great contempt, "Leon! I'll get you for this Leon! I'll get you!" But my pointless threats couldn't be heard over the crowd, and soon they were completely gone.

I sunk to the floor in defeat, blood dripping out of my leg generously, and remained there until a janitor found me and called the police.

So, that was my first run in with Leon, but it was by far the last. As I stated, we soon became arch rivals for the rest of my existence, and that rivalry actually continues until this day. I do hope you enjoyed my story good reader, and if you wish to hear more of my wondrous tales, they will be waiting for you at my profile page.

Till next time – Adam Gilbert


End file.
